If a marriage is no longer enjoying sex then it has a problem. I know what I am talking about, not only for the many patients I have dealt with on this subject, but also because I have personally gone through it. Therefore I can verify that the circumstances in which this type of deficiency takes place. If sex is gone from an intimate relationship such as marriage, it means that there is a problem or a problem that it may be on the way to appear.
Main reasons for a marriage without sex
Of course there are many reasons, and very different in nature, for a couple to stop having sex, and it must be important to identify them.
Frequently these problems are temporary and easily identifiable, are usually periods of time in which our habitual rhythm of life is being altered, such as: The period after giving birth, cases of surrender to other people as relatives or dependent relatives , Stress for work reasons or also the diagnosis of a serious illness. This is completely normal, the marriage enters the field of the predictable and should not catch anyone off guard, or at least not worry too much about it.
This lack or absence of sexual relations within the marriage should be classified as worrying if the absence of sex persists with time. In these cases, we must act to get to the cause of the problem and begin to work on the changes to find the solution, if not the sexless marriage goes into a spiral of excuses to avoid dealing with the issue. Communication and reflection will prevent a marriage from facing the risk of being destroyed.
In general, unless the causes are physical or medical, the absence of sex is a sign of deep problems hidden in the relationship.
In my consultation I find myself every day working with women who do not have sex with their husbands. You can treat the lack of female libido: with aphrodisiacs and natural products , but if the problem persists it is advisable to visit a professional, that is why, these women come to me almost desperately looking for an explanation to their lack of sexual desire, their lack Of libido. The first thing I do is to practice a whole series of tests of the hormonal levels. Many times I discover a hormonal imbalance that leads directly to that low sexual desire. But often, even when this hormonal issue has been solved, the same women continue to feel the same lack of sexual appetite. Then I begin to look at somewhat deeper levels and most of the time end up admitting that they feel unhappy or unfulfilled in their marriage. There can be resentments, having the feeling of being rejected, excessive financial burden, or loss of confidence. Even all causes at once.
Lack of physical contact involves an emotional distancing
Several studies show that the lack of physical contact and closeness leads to physical and spatial distancing. Almost 100% of marriages claiming to have little to no sex in the long run show a much greater degree of marital dissatisfaction than those who have more or less regular sex.
As I mentioned, I went through this in my own marriage a couple of years ago and to be honest, I even doubt its survival. The less sex we had, the less connected we felt to each other. It was like a snowball rolling downhill, growing and growing. But we managed to turn the situation between the two, not sitting around waiting for the return of sexual desire by magic but making sex one of our priorities in life together. Of course it demanded an effort, very great effort in my case. Work consumed all my energy. We were confronted with the problem and applied it in our sexual relations until the time came when we both missed it after a few days. At that moment we were aware that we had turned the situation around.
There is no need to sweep the problem under the carpet , you have to face it actively, especially since there is a high probability that the lack of sex and an unsatisfactory marriage will lead the couple to seek satisfaction somewhere else. That on the one hand. And on the other, in the case of a marriage with children, it is advisable to raise them in a healthy and vitally positive environment. In any case, one must take the risk of facing it, and try to fix it.
Health Tips to Maintain a Healthy Marriage
–Analyze your daily habits. For example, do you spend more time on the Internet than trying to have intimate contact with your partner, even a few strokes? It is difficult to change things that you do not see at first glance, so take your time by analyzing the things that your routine includes, what has become a habit and what things you are missing out on or are avoiding doing in daily life.
— Dedicate yourself to giving your partner a little affection more often. Try to get closer to your partner in daily life – give her a smile or a loving look when you return to her. These subtle but loving signs reestablish contact and pave the way for later, more ardent moments.
— Make memories and remember your sexiest times. Have you ever given a special kiss, a special massage or shared the bath? To put just one example …. Ask your partner what you miss about your most romantic past or if there is something you would like to do again. You can also relieve the tension of the lack of sex by telling her that you want to return to the physical contact that you have lost and that you want to do it as soon as possible.
— Reconnect with your partner. Give your wife messages about how sexy she is today or for example how much you admire her for having managed to feed, dress and take the kids to school and everything in one morning. There are many ways to connect and each person likes to be told different things!
— Ultimately, consult a professional. When you have or have tried everything and you continue to be in a marriage without sex, it may be that the time has come to consult with a third person, an impartial third party. A therapist specializing in these issues. Not only will it help you return to a satisfying sex life, in the long run it will save your marriage or relationship.